Elderly Parent Refuses Help: What to Do

Our parents, especially in their later years, can often be reluctant to admit that their time is catching up. They sometimes say misleading phrases like, “I don’t need help” or “I can take care of myself.” Even though these statements may be true at times, our parents and grandparents aren’t indestructible. They’re not superheroes and that’s perfectly fine, but they must understand this crucial fact. Dealing with parents can often cause headaches and leave family members stressed; these next tips will help show you how to deal with an elderly parent.

Ask Questions

Before any arguing can begin, try asking hypothetical questions like, “How would you feel about hiring a housekeeper?” or “Would you want someone to drive you to your doctor’s appointments?” These questions may help you get prepared for when a health crisis arises. If your parent refuses help, continue digging for answers by possibly asking, “Are you afraid of losing privacy?” We know how stubborn our parents can be, especially when asking for help. But by being empathetic, your response will seem genuine and make you more trustworthy in convincing your elderly parents.

Be Indirect

When outright telling your parents to get help doesn’t work, attempt to be subtler and subliminal with your message. Drop minor hints, possibly saying, “I was talking to my friend’s mom about her in-home caregiver and she would not stop recommending it; she kept saying how comforting the help is.”  Hearing how well the extra added help is working out for someone else who is in a similar situation may be the tipping point for your parents. There’s a fine line you must play to avoid manipulation but if your parents dearly need help, consider being more direct. Being serious yet honest can go a very long way. Saying, “Please get some help so I can get piece of mind,” will show your serious yet caring.

Carefully Accept the Situation

When your parents remain stubborn in their ways, it may take everything in your power to limit your persistence. After all, dealing with elderly parents who refuse help is nothing like dealing with stubborn children, try to avoid denying their agency. If the situation is serious, do what you must to ensure the safety of your loved ones. When an elderly parent refuses help, it can be a daunting task to reverse their logic, but attempting to do so is necessary. The important thing to remember is to be genuine, empathetic and there for them.

If you’re looking for a professional home care agency for your loved one, Freedom Home Care’s friendly, compassionate staff is here to meet all of their healthcare needs. We provide services that are sure to fulfill your needs such as after surgery care, arthritis carepersonalized elder care, and alternative therapy to the entire Chicagoland area. If your loved one is sharing housing with another elder, we can make arrangements for all to have personalized specific care! Give us a call today at (877) 262-1223 or visit our headquarters located at 1749 Green Bay Road in Highland Park, IL 60035.